It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I've written on this blog.  Over a year in fact.  Did I keep you in suspense?  Lose all interest?

Anyway, I've talked about a lot of things on this blog, so I decided to change the name.  Again.  Our "Adventures in Adoption" won't be happening for a while.  It's a long story.  One that I've come to the conclusion will always hurt, no matter the time that passes.

So, here I am.  Last week I had my oldest (9) tested for food intolerances and sensitivities.  Turns out his body doesn't like casein or eggs.  Then I had son #2 tested (he's 7).  His body doesn't like gluten.

To be honest, this didn't surprise me.   Ok, the egg thing surprised me.  But we put the oldest on a casein free diet once before.  He did seem to improve, but I wasn't positive.  The next time we tried, I didn't see any improvements.  But looking back, when I took him off of dairy I also increased eggs.  And the second time I wasn't as strict about it.

I've suspected that son #2 had a problem with gluten for a while.  We had him tested for Celiacs, but that came back ok.  Turns out that a lot of people have problems with gluten that are not Celiacs.

So, starting on Monday, one boy cannot have casein or eggs.  The other can't have gluten.  My head is already swimming.  We did some shopping to pick up a few things for each of them.  The oldest isn't too happy about this, but I'm hoping that he'll cheer up with Vegan Parmesan.  And Earth Balance Mayo.

My current challenge is label reading and redoing the grocery budget. 

How about you?  What has been challenging you lately?
  

Change of plans

Well, we're moving! Not what we expected, but here we go anyway. Here are some pictures of things that we're selling before we go!

Elliptical-$150

Entertainment Center (doors close to hide TV) $250, TV negotiable

Hammered Dulcimer-$450, comes with hard sided carrying case

These two items hubby made. $50 for the bookcase, $20 for the shoe cubby.

I'm also selling a bucket of granola that I bought at the local food co-op. It's really good....it's just not gluten free. Shortly after I bought it I had to cut out all gluten, and my family isn't as in to granola as I am. Practically completely full. $25.

Passing Time

Recently I've been making cloth diapers and things that are along those lines. It's helping to keep my mind busy so I'm not just waiting around. Some of my friends have asked me about making a few things for them. I came up with these patterns after looking at several that I liked, then took the best parts of everything to make these.

Disclaimer: I am trying to make these affordable while still making a small profit (which goes to our adoption fund). I buy the material on sale at a discount when I find it, so these are not "cute" diapers. They are one color. If you want something specific then I can try to do that too, but I may have to charge you a little more since these prices are based on my finding the best deals and passing that along to you. I also will not be keeping things in stock so it may take up to a month from the time that I receive your order to when you receive your product. That allows a week to order the material, then time to make it, and then mail it out to you. At lastly, I am not a "professional" seamstress, and I am still learning. I welcome ideas on how to make these things better!

Pocket One-Size Diapers w/ two inserts-$10
Wet Diaper Bags-$14/$9/$5
Double Sided Wipes-$1
Fleece Liners-$1
Overnight Insert-$5
Waterproof Changing Pad-$12
Contoured Nursing Pads-$2/pair
Cloth Menstrual Pads-$3/$4/$5

I'm also working on a pair of training pants for a friend. They'll be waterproof with side snaps so they can be easily removed in case of an accident, but my goal is that they will also be able to be pulled up and down easily at the potty.

Update of Sorts

It's time for an update!

We signed our paperwork in December so now we are officially licensed as a matched adopt home. What does this mean? It means that we passed everything and can now "officially" be on the lookout for kiddos. Our case manager will be looking for us and we will keep our eyes on the TARE website. Most kids are matched before they make it onto TARE, so chances our that our case manager will be calling us at some point with a match! The process after that is full of things to do, so right now we are just focusing on our ongoing training (we have quarterly home visits that include reports on what we've learned and how we'll apply it) and getting our hearts and home ready for our new children.

I've been posting some things about fundraisers so I'll let you know what I still have going right now. For the moment I'm not doing any online fundraisers, but I am selling things that we've had donated to us or sold to us at a great discount! Here is what I have:

Wick & Petal 14 oz Candles-$15 each

• 1 Monkey Farts
• 1 Christmas Splendor
• 2 Baked Apple Pie

Wick & Petal Melts (2 per pack)-$1.50 each

• 1-Iced Cinnamon Rolls
• 2-Peaches & Ginger
• 2-Winter Fantasy (vanilla, sandalwood, and cherries)
• 1-Christmas Splendor (cinnamon, pine, apple and berries)
• 2-Hot Baked Apple Pie
• 2-Hot Fudge Brownies
• 2-Australian Bamboo Grass (fresh, spa-like scent)
• 2-Blueberry Muffin
• 2-Vanilla Silk
• 2-Pumpkin Pie Spice

3 Infant Fleece Hats-$5 each

1 Fleece Scarf-$5

1 Newborn Size "Made In America" Tie-Dye Onesie-$12

Sorry that I don't have pictures. My camera has decided to quit working for the moment :-(

Email me or comment if you're interested in purchasing any (or all!) of the items listed!

Wick & Petal Candles

I now have Wick & Petal Candles for sale! These candles are 14oz and burn for 50-60 hours. We have been burning the Christmas Splendor at my mom's house and we both are amazed at how well these burn! Seriously! The wicks are self trimming and the natural palm wax is burning down very nicely! These sell for $15 each. I have already sold some, so here is what I have now:
1 - Monkey Farts (banana and citrus)
1 - Pumpkin Cream Cake
1 - Christmas Splendor
3 - Hot Baked Apple Pie

I also have melts from Wick & Petal. The melts are in 2-packs and sell for $1.50. The scents available are:
1-Iced Cinnamon Rolls
2-Peaches & Ginger
2-Winter Fantasy (vanilla, sandalwood, and cherries)
1-Christmas Splendor (cinnamon, pine, apple and berries)
2-Hot Baked Apple Pie
2-Hot Fudge Brownies
2-Australian Bamboo Grass (fresh, spa-like scent)
2-Blueberry Muffin
2-Vanilla Silk
2-Pumpkin Pie Spice

Jewelry

Go here to buy some cute handmade jewelry! Enter "Prather Adoption" at checkout :-)

Things that I Can Make

I've been trying to compile a list of things that I can make to sell to raise money for our adoption expenses. This is the list that I've come up with so far:

• Baby Rag Quilt
• Scrunchies/Hair Bands
• Stroller Bungee Clip
• Diapers
• Cloth Changing Pad
• Wet Diaper Bag
• Dish Cloths
• Dish/Veggie Scrubber

My problem is that I have no idea how to sell the stuff! And to be honest, some of these things cost enough money that it's easier to make them as they are ordered. Maybe I'll just be spending too much time trying to do this? Is it worth it? All of these items can be found on etsy, so I'm not sure that I'm unique enough for people to buy from me vs. everyone else that's out there!

We need about $1000 in furniture type items. Other than that, we're really don't need much else as long as we continue our plan of adopting through foster care. I've thought about teaching piano again, but I would really not be able to keep up with that once our children are home with us. I'd hate to start something that I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up.

What are your thoughts?

Fundraiser #2

These amazing soaps are made by a friend of mine! They are completely natural and most are made with goats milk. Just place your order at http://hyenacart.com/countrysoapsbymarlene/ and enter the code "Prather Adoption" when you're checking out and she'll do the rest! Be sure to check out her gift giving ideas for some great Christmas gifts!

Fundraiser

Our first fundraiser has started! From now until December 5th order candles at www.CandlesAreLove.com and enter the code "2010" at checkout. I'll also be taking orders directly for the scents listed below. If you want to be sure that your order will be here by Christmas I recommend ordering online since I'll be gone the weeks immediately prior to Christmas. Thank you for considering supporting us!

Mia Bella Gourmet Products

We want to thank you for supporting the Prather Family and Their Adoption Journey!

Mia Bella Candles are proud to be made in the USA

Natural Gourmet Scented Candles - $20 each

Our 16 oz jar candles are clean burning with no black mess.

The scents are infused throughout entire candle and will not fade.

Choose from our top selling scents and enjoy in your home or to give as a gift.

Mia Bella Scent Description

1. Apple Cinnamon – ripe apples sprinkled with cinnamon
2. Baby Powder – “new baby” smell so pure and innocent.
3. Christmas Pine – the wonderful Christmas tree aroma of the holiday season
4. Crème Brulee – a rich sweet butterscotch fragrance
5. Cucumber Melon – fresh and cool smelling like a breath of fresh air
6. Eucalyptus – refreshing, invigorating but also calming and comforting
7. French Vanilla – a creamy confection with a strong vanilla scent
8. Fresh Linen – clean clothes fresh from the dryer describes this scent
9. Heart of the Ocean – fresh clean smell like an ocean breeze
10. Home For Christmas – hints of cinnamon and cloves to spice up your holiday season
11. Hot Apple Pie – so much like the real thing your family will think you’re baking
12. Lavender – aromatic, relaxing fragrance of crisp English lavender
13. Mulberry Spice – strong scent of spice and dark red mulberry fruit
14. Pumpkin Cheesecake – rich creamy blend of cheesecake and pumpkin
15. Rain – just like after a rainstorm
16. Sweet Orange & Chili Pepper – our most popular fragrance – a zingy, zesty orange-eee smell you will never forget. Perfect for any season
17. Victorian Rose – light perfume smell of roses

Fundraisers

We finished our homestudy!!! Now we just have to wait for them to finish the paperwork so we can be licensed. We found out that to be licensed as foster care we could only have 1 additional child. Since we went into this thinking a sibling group we were rather disappointed, so we decided to keep with our original plan and go with matched adoption. This means it may take longer to find our children, but once they come in the door we'll know that the are ours.

We are beginning to consider doing a little bit of fundraising for some of our expenses. One kind of fundraiser that I'm considering is asking business to donate items to us, then selling the items on my blog. My blog doesn't get much traffic so I would need my friends to help advertise on FB for me!

So for now I've emailed 3 friends that make things to sell and asked if they are interested in the idea. Does anyone know of some other people that may be interested?

Homestudy

We had our first meeting for our homestudy on Thursday. I think it went well, but you never know what other people think about you. The first meeting was an interview with both of us, then the next thing will be separate interviews. They will also talk to the kids.

We had them do a walk-through to give us some things to fix before we do the health inspection. Some of the things are things that should have been done anyway (lid on the dog food container) but some of the stuff if just silly (contact solution has to be locked up). In any case, we fixed some of the things this weekend and tomorrow we will try and get the health and fire inspections scheduled.

Now....who wants to help me clean????

Update

Not a whole lot to update, but I thought I would post something so you all know that I'm still here!

The paperwork part of the application is nearly done! It's close enough that the agency has decided to go ahead and assign us to a case manager and start our homestudy process. While I know that many people have their homestudy done in one day, our case manager told us that the first meeting will only consist of the interviews that Ryan and I will do together and we will do our separate ones on a different day. She also mentioned something about interviewing the kids, so I'm not really sure what to expect with that.

I have been watching like a hawk checking the public data base frequently. On one hand I am encouraged for the children because there used to be 3 pages that showed up in my search range but now there is only one. On that one page none of the sibling groups match what we are looking for (everyone younger than Tyler). I have to keep reminding myself that most adoption matches are not done through this website but through our case manager. Most children never make it to the website.

So that's about it! Homestudy soon, then fire and health inspections! Anyone want to come help me clean?

Legal Risk

I realized that I used the term "Legal Risk" in my last post but didn't give a definition. So here it is to the best of my understanding.

When a child is removed from a home the state of Texas gives the parents and extended family 18 months to clean up their act and do what is needed to get their children back. Some cities move faster than 18 months. Some probably move slower. But here the judge has to make the decision in 18 months. During that time the children are in foster care. Many people in foster care are hoping to adopt the children in their homes but you really have no idea what the chances of that will be. People that go this route are considered Foster-to-Adopt.

The other end of that spectrum is matched adoption. These are children whose parents have had their parental rights terminated. When Texas terminates parental rights it terminates on the whole family. This means that after termination Aunt Mary from Missouri can't come back and claim a niece or nephew. So these children are living in a foster home who don't intend to adopt them. A family will find out about these children and start taking the steps to adopting them. After they are placed in your home they stay there for about 6 months until you go to court and they are 100% yours. (read: the state quits coming into your house every month!)

The middle ground is called "Legal Risk". Technically there is no license for legal risk. It's just in the mind of your caseworker. An example of legal risk would be an abandoned infant. If a parent abandons their infant then they have 3 months to come back and claim them. During that time the baby is in a home that is licensed for foster care. If the mother does not reclaim her child then parental rights are terminated on and the child can be adopted. In the time that our city has had the "Baby Moses" law in effect only one child has been reclaimed. Another example would be if our caseworker knew of some children who had been in foster care for 12 months and the parents were not trying to get their children back. It looks pretty good that there will be termination in 6 months but they can't guarantee that. Another good example would be if a mother had had more than one termination in the past with previous children and now she has another baby in foster care. The chances are pretty good that she won't get this baby back either.

So there you have it. Clear as mud, right?

Next Step

We finished the PRIDE class and have submitted all of the paperwork. The next thing we will be waiting for is the referral forms to come back, the background checks from Colorado and Maryland to come back, and the appointments next week to get the TB tests done. In the meantime we might fill our time with some chicken pox. You never know...

After all of the above things have cleared then we'll have the homestudy, fire & health inspections, and the FBI fingerprinting and then we'll be licensed! As of right now we have decided to go ahead and do the dual licensing for foster care and adoption. While we plan on doing a matched adoption we found out that there are times that a legal risk may make sense. We have to be licensed for foster care in order to do a legal risk adoption.

Try as I might, I can't seem to stay off of the TARE website! I was a little sad today when I discovered that a sibling group that I had been planning to ask about is no longer listed. They were there last week, but they are gone now. I am sad for me, but I am happy that this means that they have a forever family :-)

In other news we found out that we can't post pictures of the kids until they are 100% legally ours. I was completely disappointed about that since I would have wanted to put pictures up here as soon as I found out who the kids are! But if you know me personally then I can email the pictures to you. I just can't post them here or on FB. Politics....

Congratulations!!!

Congratulations to my friends! I have two friends that are both with their children right now in their birth countries. The Tossells have adopted a little boy from Russia and will be bringing him home in about a week and a half!

The Cambrons have adopted a brother and sister in Ethiopia. Their dad is with them right now and will be bringing them home soon, although I'm not sure exactly when.

Books

As with most things in my life I tend to do a lot of research. Adoption is no different. I have spent countless hours talking with people whose lives have been touched by adoption. I've read books, online articles, blogs, etc. The most recent book I have purchased is Brothers and Sisters in Adoption. Ryan and I will read it together starting next week. I've glanced at it a bit and it does look really good.

What are your favorite books about adoption? What was the most helpful?

Another Adoption Song

This one is more about a birth mom who gave up her son at birth. I dare you not to cry. (OK, I dare the mothers out there not to cry)



Here's the story behind the song.

All I Really Want

Ever have those moments where you realize that not everyone knows about your favorite song? Recently I learned that not everyone has heard of this song. Enjoy!

Scrapbooking

Some of you may know that I am an avid scrapbooker. It's a little crazy sometimes...but I try to catch important moments on camera and then put those into books. Part of it is just for the fun of being able to look back through pictures, but I also like to think that I am keeping a journal of God's faithfulness to us in good times and bad times. All of my children have a 0-12 month album in which I have written a Bible verse on each page in hopes that those will encourage, challenge, and strengthen them in days to come. After that they have a birthday album where I have pictures of their birthdays, along with stats from that year. Other than that I do family albums where I keep track of all of the other pictures.

Right now I am trying to figure out the best way to record our adoption journey. I can do some pictures, but should I just do one adoption album? I could play with some digital scrapbooks so I could assemble the book once and have one printed for each child. I'm just looking for ideas. Would a "first year with us" album be appropriate? I know that the kids will have some type of scrapbook that the foster families keep for them. Maybe I'll figure out how to integrate those into scrapbooks.

Thank you all for your feedback from my last post :-)

Feedback

Until we announced our decision I didn't realize how much I was hoping for a good reaction from our friends and family. Now, you may be thinking that this is pretty obvious, but I guess I didn't realize how the negative or lack-of feedback would effect me. I tend to not let others bother me so I guess I assumed that it didn't matter what others thought.

I was wrong.

When I mentioned this to a friend that is hoping to adopt in the next few years she said that announcing an adoption is like announcing a pregnancy! We want people to be happy for us! We want them to share in our excitement! People that are anticipating adoption are emotionally pregnant!

For the ones that gave us negative feedback, I'm aware of what their concerns are and why they aren't happy for us. All I can pray is that time will help them embrace this and that our actions and words will relieve their concerns.

Maybe I'm being over-sensitive with the non-feedback. It's just that there were certain places that I got NOTHING. Silence. It certainly surprised me. I guess I would rather negative than nothing. I don't mind answering questions. If you have a question or concern, please ask!